A brief encounter with a pair of scissors a few weeks ago enlightened me to what many stylistas and pop psychologists have known for years – a woman’s hair is intimately connected to her identity and feelings of self-worth.
My long blonde hair had been feeling strawy and lifeless for a few months and I knew it was time for a change, but between falling in love with Blake Lively’s flowing golden locks and Betty Draper’s vintage bob, I was unable to decide exactly what that change would be. I didn’t know whether I just wanted some damage control or whether I was ready to embrace a completely new look.
So on a Friday afternoon, on which my hair was looking particularly drab, I made a spontaneous trip into the nearest hair salon. Luckily they had a free spot just before closing time. “What would you like us to do,” the male hairdresser asked me before rambling on about his plans for the weekend. I told him he could do whatever he wanted and as soon as the words left my mouth I knew what was coming next. “Would you mind going a bit shorter,” he said while lifting up the ends of my hair. I should have known that no hairdresser would be able to resist the temptation of cutting of countless centimetres of dead hair.
Forty five minutes later I walked out of the hair salon and into the reality of my not-so-funky life with a style described by the hairdresser as “cheeky and hip”. I sat in the car, listening to Mumford and Sons, thinking about how my usual look is classic and simple, certainly not “cheeky and hip”.
Over the weeks and days that have followed, my ontological panic has definitely not disappeared, but I have found small ways to cope with the reality of having a mismatch between what’s inside of my head and what’s on top of it.
Don’t go around hatin’ on your own do
Yes, you might hate your new hair, but it’s no reason for anyone else to know it. The first few days after getting my haircut I made the mistake of replying with “Thanks, but I really don’t like it,” whenever anyone complimented me on my new look. Although I still have to bite on my tongue to avoid uttering that phrase when someone comments on my hair, I know that sharing your insecurities with others is a sure way for them to start buying into them as well. Don’t point out your perceived hair flaws to others; let them find their own instead.
Learn how to style it just the way you like
One of the most exciting things about my new hair is that it requires very little styling which also means very little damage…yay! All I have to do is fluff it up a bit every now and then and I look dishevelled chic. I am also using wax for the first time in my life which results in a new adventure every day. Don’t get stuck on the negative aspects of your new hair, rather learn to make the best of the hair you now have.
Play at being different characters
My new hair is completely unpredictable. Some days it’s flat and fabulous and on others it has random sticky-out pieces with a mind of their own. I don’t fight it anymore. Some days I play at being Princess Diana and on others I am Freddie van Dango from Idols. Fun!
Don’t let your hair woes get you down, channel your inner Greta Garbot, 1980s Madonna or any other hair hero and have fun with the hair you have.
Enjoy how wonderfully healthy it looks and feels
Yes! New hair usually comes with loads of brand new brilliant shine and softness. Look at your hair glistening in the mirror and appreciate the one thing that is more attractive than anything else in the world – looking healthy and full of vitality.
Baby your hair
Make sure your hair’s new healthy look lasts by treating it the way you know you should. Try a homemade olive oil hair mask or get one from the store. Some of my favourite natural hair treatments include using cocoa butter as conditioner, adding turmeric to your shampoo for shiny blonde hair and mixing shampoo and baking powder for a deep cleansing treatment. Good for your hair and the environment.
Look forward to many new exciting styles
If you hate your current hairstyle, you really have nothing to lose! This means you can keep on experimenting with loads of different hairstyles you’ve always wanted to try while your hair grows out. On my list of styles of try is (still) Betty Draper’s bob and Nicole Richie’s simple shoulder-length style.
It will grow again
Even if you really hate your hair, it will grow again and once it has, it will probably look better than ever before. A simple trick for faster hair growth is to mix a half a tea-spoon full of gelatine into your morning tea or lemon water.
Most importantly…
Never again will I walk into a hair salon and tell the hairdresser to do whatever he wants. This experience has taught me a very valuable lesson – I actually do know what I want and I should go out and get it.
